Getting trapped in the drama of our lives blinds us from reality and seeing the simplicity in the moment. As I'm writing this on the rooftop deck of my friend's apartment complex, I'm amazed at the sweetness of the afternoon (pictures included). To my right is Lake Michigan and the sandy shore line that hugs it. Facing me, could be the view of John Hancock and the Magnificent Mile. A carpet of green trees and bright rooftops lay below. A blue sunny sky looms above. A white bikini clad young woman lies to my right, sunning on a dark wrought iron chaise three chairs over. I really could see how easy it would be to be so trapped in the events of my life that even the serenity and wonderment of such views may be overshadowed by drama's stories, grieves and hurts.Dramacool
The difficult and painful events which have occurred in our past and our fears about the long run blurs our vision and keeps us stuck in a quagmire of deceit. So trapped are we in the drama of our lives that individuals quite often don't notice how blue could be the sky or green would be the trees approximately white could be the bikini. Our anatomies might physically take the "here and now" but our minds definitely are not.
Drama binds us to the past and holds our future captive. We tend to think our responses to recent events derive from present feelings when in reality they represent unfinished, unresolved and uncompleted emotions. We often don't note that drama keeps us in the problem of the past within our present. Kept limited to our dramas, we never heal and we never grow. What we are able to study on new experiences never present themselves because we dilute the lesson with drama.
An episode is just a deep and very personal story of what the "event" meant to us. It is definitely an engineered story of the "what is" giving the "what is" an individual meaning. An illustration: imagine you're driving down the expressway at a safe speed. Someone in a sports vehicle races behind you, quickly swerves to your lane and manages to cut you off before driving away. The truth of "what is" is that someone is speeding and quickly swerves into your lane. The non-public story or drama that you simply created at that time may be "Exactly what a jackass! He must think I'm driving too slow and that I'm not just a good enough driver. At this moment we take the function personally. Another reality: your partner walks from the marriage. Your drama is: "I'm unworthy of love" or "I can't trust anybody anymore, I will just get hurt again if I remarry."
How we are able to "grow" from drama is to acknowledge the difference between what's reality and what's drama. The reality is just an event separate from any emotions (I got fired from my job / I got divorced). Drama is our personal story, the reason, we make-up of how the function affects us and what it way to our lives (My boss is just a real jackass / I'm unlovable). We always want to generate meaning in everything that happens in our lives. Healing and growing starts by understanding the difference between what's reality and what's fiction and then just accepting the function because it is (I no further have a job) without the drama.
I know easier said then done. Often times it's in the story and the non-public meaning behind it that makes life interesting but once the story repeats itself time and time again in a constant cycle, the function never dies. It consistently repeats itself in similar situations even with years of the initial occurrence; old feelings of hurt are resurrected. (I text her but she didn't text back. She must not like me and anybody who doesn't text me right me right away as time goes on must mean they don't love me as well. Love blows!). Drama doesn't allow us to cultivate into mature experienced adults rather we remain emotionally stagnant at this it's occurrence.
The dramas in our lives are created by made-up untrue beliefs while denial shrouds the true issues. We reach awaken from the drama once we accept the truth that we've the ultimate power to turn around our lives. When we have the ability to create negative thoughts and emotions then we're also able to produce a positive spin on a single event. Change the thought and emotions into something positive that will empower us and inspire others and consequently we reach get back control in our lives. By accepting the function as what it is will free us from the emotional bond because it demonstrates that only our jobs or relationships are ending and not our lives. This can be achieved by writing out a set of what's happening without attaching the emotions associated with it. In case of losing employment your list might include:
1. I have been fired
2. I no further have employment
3. I must find a brand new job
4. I haven't any income
5. I've little savings
After reading over your notes and removing all of the drama or unworthiness, fear, blame and guilt can disappear. The facts have presented itself in ways as possible address each issue to generate solutions that it's simple to handle and benefit from. Acceptance will enable you to detach from the drama so you will have a way to see your lifetime separate from the emotions as fear and any negativity is washed away. You become an outside observer in the events allowing you to effectively, clearly and without any judgments control of one's reactions and your life.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is one of the big creeds that allow its members to better handle their lives. In it, it states: "Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I'm disturbed, it is really because I find some person, place or thing, or situation -some fact of my life- unacceptable in my experience, and I will get no serenity until I accept that individual, place, thing or situation as being precisely the way it is said to be only at that moment."
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